Failure to Launch

  

Proverbs 22:6 instructs us, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

 

Do you remember the box office hit romantic comedy movie “Failure to Launch” in theaters back in 2006 and starred Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker. The film focused on a 35-year-old man living with his parents who shows no interest in leaving the comfortable life that they have made for him. In desperation to push their grown son out of the nest once and for all, they hire an expert  to entice him to assume the mantle of responsibility and get his own place. The film highlighted a real and growing issue in American households then and now.

 

Proverbs 16:3 “says, Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

 

I first heard of this new phenomena of failure to launch much earlier from a couple at our church. The parents had well-paying jobs, lived in an upscale house, had every luxury and provided anything and everything their children desires growing up. The first kids went to the colleges of their choice, received their diplomas in the majors for their chosen vocation, launched out into life in the jobs they hired into, and started their own families. But, the youngest child refused to leave his parent’s house. He had all of the finest things in life provided right there; not just free room and board, but the trendiest clothes, annual passes to all the Amusement Parks and Local Ski resorts, Surf Board, Snow Board, Fitness Memberships, A high-end Sports car, Newest Cell Phone, Best Cable and Movie Package, expensive vacations all over the world and excursions wherever he wanted and no out-of-pocket expenses. 

 

These parents were in the upper-middle class and spared no expense for their beloved children. The youngest son figured this out and told his parents that he realized the moment that he left home to go out on his own, the “good life” with everything given to him would suddenly cease to exist and his standard of living completely devastated. So, he decided to never leave home. They had trained up their child that material extravagance and experiential indulgence were the purpose of life. Instead of the child desiring to stand on their own two feet, become a productive member of society and earn their own living, they created a free-loading a sluggish and burdensome consumer. Why work when you can get everything you want given to you?

 

When they told me their live-issue story, realizing the generational implications, I said: “oh no!”. Phycology Today states that a spoiled child may be recognized by an unwillingness to conform to the ordinary demands of living; family, community, culture and society. A spoiled child does not want to grow up. Colossians 3:23-24instructs us, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

 

The 1983 song by Todd Rundgren “Bang the Drum All Day” has the chorus “I don't want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day. I don't want to play, I just want to bang on the drum all day.” The song has become popular as an anti-work anthem or anthem of celebration. It was not always this way. Rising up children into virtuous and respectable adults was the duty of both parents and public education. I read a reprint of an 1890 School Primer on Ethics published by Wallbuilders, which presented the principles of moral conduct and the fundamental ideas of right and wrong; exercising a thinking and reasoning powers, strengthening judgment and cultivating a moral sense and duty as an upstanding citizen in society and commuity. The third lesson in this textbook is on “Industry” - instilling a good work ethic. My parents stressed putting in a good, hard days work, eight hours of work for eight hours of pay. Don't put off till tomorrow what could be done today.

 

The word “Industry” is defined as: Habitual diligence in any employment, either bodily or mental; steady attention to business; assiduity; opposed to sloth and idleness. We are directed to take lessons of industry from the bee (be busy as a Bee). Industry pays debts, while idleness will increase them. The Public Schoolbook also taught the principals of Truth, Obedience, Honesty, Fidelity, Justice, Politeness, Profanity, Conscience, Treatment of Enemies, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Purity, Repentance and Duty to Schools, Playmates, Animals, Parents and God, It is teaching a child to be responsible, and teaching a child to be responsible from a biblical worldview encourages a self-reliance and self-respect. Is this taught today? When did it stop and why?

 

Proverbs 10:4 says, “Poor is he who works with a negligent and idle hand, but the hand of the diligent makes him rich.” The word “poor” here denotes one impoverishing himself; needy. Destitute of dignity; jejune. ; as a poor composition; a poor essay; a poor discourse. Destitute of value, worth or importance. Destitute of spirit. The word “rich” here speaks to enriching oneself, to gain a valuable and precious life, abounding; highly endowed with spiritual gifts; rich in faith and life. The latter is the true and righteous goal for our next generation. The Fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) are true riches. Train up a child in the godly and industrious way they should go, and avoid a failure to launch.

 

In Christ, Brian