James
1:19-22 “You know, my
beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow
to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of
God. Therefore, putting aside all filthiness and all that
remains of wickedness, in humility receive the word implanted, which is
able to save your souls. But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not
merely hearers who delude themselves.”
We
hear: “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”, but
we all know that it is not true. Words can hurt us deeply. Words can break our
hearts and words can break our spirits. Broken bones heal with time, but broken
hearts and spirits, caused by words do not repair quickly, if at all. How many
people have you and I impacted (positively or negatively) by our words? How
many lives have been changed, for the better or the worse, with our words? Many
people are going through psychological counseling for hurts, habits and hang-ups
caused by malicious or carelessly cruel words. The Apostle James points out
that from the same Christian mouth comes blessings towards God and cursing
towards their fellow man. Are we too quick to criticize? Do we need to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger?
Are our words creating lasting affects by building people up or gossiping and tearing
people down? There is an ungodly culture in society today that delights in intentionally
tearing people down, saying: “Making you mad, makes me happy”.
Psalm
15:1-3 “ O Lord,
who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill? He
who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth
in his heart. He does not slander with his tongue, nor does
evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend.”
We
cannot be complimenting and cursing, or blessing and blasting others out of the
same mouth at the same time. It is impossible as Believers to have a tongue
that brings forth both righteousness and rumors. We need to be consistently in holiness.
What comes out of our mouth is a reflection of what is in our heart. If you
have an angry heart, than you are going to have angry words. Psalm
37:30 says, “The mouths of the
righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just.” What can we
do to tame our tongue? (1) Make a commitment to be in God’s Holy Word. Pastor Herk
suggests reading one of the 31 chapters of Proverbs every day, along with one
chapter of the Book of James. You cannot help but pick up something good about
a righteous mouth.
Proverbs
15:4 “A soothing
tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit.”
(2)
Think before you speak. Are your words flames or flowers to others? There are
five questions using the acronym for the word “THINK” that we need to ask
ourselves before we speak. “T” = Is it True? - Are your words the truth?;
“H” = Is it Helpful? - Will your words assist in bringing about a
solution and resolution to the problem?; “I” = Is it Inspiring? - Do
your words build up people?; “N” = Is it Necessary? – Does it need to be
said and what is the benefit?; “K” = is it Kind? – Does your heart care
for this person and what they feel? (3) Talk less. Most times “silence is
golden”, so let’s all get rich on it. The old saying goes: “Better to remain
silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.” We have
two ears and only one mouth, so listen twice as much. Be a good listener
because people just want and need to “vent” (express and “unpack and unload”
what’s on their heart and mind – they just want to be heard). You may not need
to comment or speak or comment at all. Proverbs 10:19 says that: “When there are many words, transgression is
unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.” (4) Say it
tactfully. You are never persuasive when you are abrasive. (5) Say it lovingly.
Never use truth as a club to beat someone. Ephesians 4:15 “Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every
respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” (5)
Say it Gently. Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers
and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should
restore that person gently.” Being gentle means lowering your voice
and showing humility. Hear your words in your mind before anyone else hears
them … you may choose not to use them. (6) Build up others. Encourage others
with your words.
Do
you find yourself speaking “words of life” or “words of death”? Be “right with
God and transform lives for Christ’s sake. Choose life/speak life. If you find
yourself speaking poison words, then change. Be a dispenser in life with true,
fair, goodwill-building and beneficial words. .
Proverbs
16:21 “The wise in
heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.”
In
Christ, Brian
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