Continuing
from the last post, Pastor Giglio asks: “So, what does that friend look like?” Being
a friend that can de-escalate conflict, not the kind of friend that escalates a
conflict. There are certain people in life that if something is on fire, they
put it in a can, put a lid on it and say, “That fire is going out really fast.”
But, there are other people that when something is on fire, they get gasoline
and pour it on the flames so that the whole town burns up. Then, they say, “Oh
my goodness, I don’t know what happened.” So, the question is: Are you an extinguisher
or are you a fanner of the flames? All this is rooted in the reality of our
being loved sons and daughters of Almighty God; that we received mercy that we
did not deserve, that we received forgiveness that we did not deserve, that we
received kindness from God that we did not deserve. God did not go tell all of
our sin business all over town, but took our sin business to the cross and crucified
it with Jesus Christ. We need to be people who de-escalate issues and
assume the best of people. You want others to say the same thing about you to
everybody about being a peacemaker. When there is a conflict with someone, go
to them and talk directly to them, because that is what de-escalators do; they
work to humbly restore. They are not interested in propagating the story; they
are trying to end the story as quickly as possible and restore the relationship
without any personal gain.
James
2:15-16 If a brother or
sister is naked and destitute of daily food, 16 and one of you says
to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the
things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?
The
third friend that we are looking for principle is: (3) we need to be friends who are “open-handed”
with others. In the opening Bible passage says “distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality”. This
is being joyfully willing to share with what we have towards those around us in
legitimate need. Normally, in life it works like this: we hear about people
going through a hard time or rough patch and the number one Christian response
is: “oh, that is terrible! I’m going to pray for them” (which is powerful, if
they really do pray for them). The reality is: if your house burns down, you don’t
need people to pray for you; you need people to show up with food and shelter, funds,
furnishings and clothing in order to make ends meet. We want people in our
lives who move into action when tough times come. We need people who step in
and share what they have with those in need, practicing hospitality. Speak the
truth in love and deal with reality, being authentic.
The fourth friend that we are looking for principle
is: (4) we need
to become friends who rise above the fray. In the opening Bible passage says “do not avenge yourselves, but rather give
place to wrath”. You do not need to show up to every fight that you are
invited to. We can choose to politely withdraw from the conflict. We can be
completely hindered, tripped up, distracted and diverted by an invitation by
someone else to a battle that we do not even want to be a part of. God has
given us a mission, a calling and a purpose in life, and we need to move
towards that mission with all our heart, in the best way that we can; humbling
ourselves to God without being conceited, trusting God and pushing ahead with
what God has entrusted us to do. We cannot
afford to be distracted by others. This is the way of Jesus. All the way to the
cross, Jesus was cursed by people. It was “Hosanna, blessed is he who comes in
the name of the Lord” when Jesus triumphantly entered Jerusalem, but it was “who
do you think you are the day before and the day after. But, Jesus kept trusting
Himself to the higher governing authority of Father God.
So,
there is freedom today for us to not have to feel like we have to get everybody
on even terms by “sticking it to them” the same way that you feel like they are
“sticking it” to you, because you have a father in Heaven and He is going to
give everybody what they rightfully have coming. We cannot “right” anything in
our own power … but God can. So, go after the purpose that God called you for.
God can unravel and expose everything, call everything what it really is and
deal with everything the way that it needs to be dealt with. We can rest assured
that nobody is “getting away” with any evil (whether thought, word or deed).
Nobody. Jesus said in Matthew 12:36 “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will
give account of it in the day of judgment.” Everything is going to be set “right”
by God. When we choose to “bless and not
curse”, we are honoring the size of our Father God, who we believe will
take care of everything in the very best way. Our mission is to hear Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
Our mission is not to curse the people who have cursed us, but to fulfill the
things that He has called us to do.
Let's conclude this lesson on becoming the friend that we long for" tomorrow in the next post.
In Christ, Brian
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